The Truth Hurts

This will be a short post. A confession, really.

I've been cheating on you, dear reader. Yes, that's right. There's "someone else", and I've been stressing about it. 

The stress is what I want to focus on here. I started this blog because I wanted to share thoughts and ideas and start a dialogue with other members of the optimal lifestyle/PF/FI blogosphere. Ideas about the freedom to choose how we spend our time, our attention, our life. I didn't want it to become a stressor in my life. That's why I left my corporate job after all. 

How the hell did things get complicated all of a sudden?

Well, it only took three months of writing this blog for me to let other areas of my life get, well, a little more "complicated". More projects, more responsibilities, more everything...

...including working on another site. Gasp.

None of these additional projects have to do with earning any income. You read right. None. I can't blame this stress on financial hardship, illness, need -- just me. What if I've been the single source of the stress I've experienced all my life? That's a horrible thought I'm not ready to entertain, yet.

Mom enjoying her second walk through the Conservatory.

Just breathe.

Yesterday, I took a step back. I left my self-imposed obligations "parked" for a day. I spent a wonderful Mother's Day morning with my mom at the local Conservatory and then with my husband's family for a late brunch in the country. It was wonderful and reminded me of why I chose to live life on my terms.

I realize that I need to relax and enjoy my work for it to be meaningful and sustainable. When time seems scarce, my enjoyment starts to dissipate. Fast.

That single step back helped me restore the balance.

It was only for a day, but it was the decision to step back that made all the difference. I chose to listen to the stress crescendo and it paid dividends: I felt like writing this morning. It was not an obligation, it was a desire. I'm glad I heard my own wakeup call. 

That said, I won't not stop working on this blog or on any of my other rewarding projects. They're satisfying and I don't want to give them up. Instead, I'll make a point of creating "temporal room" to enjoy it all along the way. You can call me selfish if you like. I prefer to call it having it all.